Being you… Not mummy! 

I can’t help but feel that when a mum admits that she needs time away from her children, she has got to be the worst mother on the planet. Well I’m saying it!! I need time to myself to make me feel good so I can look after my children. Since having Charlie, without trying I have become a house recluse, when Tom goes to work I literally look after the boys, tidy the house and that is it! Sometimes I struggle to make a cup of tea for myself. Gradually I have started feeling very anxious about he smallest thing, overthinking things and worrying ALL the time. The only time the stress feeling would go from my chest is when Tom would get home from work and we were sat on the sofa relaxing. 
So I finally decided to book a doctors appointment to speak to my doctor about options on maybe having some anxiety tablets. I was very reluctant to do this as I hate taking any form of tablet, it takes me about an hour of a headache to finally take paracetamol! But I thought something has got to change as I can’t go on feeling like this anymore. Someone must have been watching over me as I had a phone call the day of my appointment and the doctor who I wanted to see was off sick and I had to rebook for the week after. 
So over the weekend Tom and I had a spur of the moment thing to go and join the gym around the corner. It not only has a million classes, a massive gym, swimming pool, baby swimming pool and a cafe….. But it has a cresh!! I literally nearly fell on the floor. Having a place to take your kids and not have to ask anyone or arrange a family or friend to have them is like the biggest weight being lifted from you. 
Yesterday morning I woke up feeling a different women, no anxiety, no stress just excitement. So I took Frankie to his usual nursery, dropped Charlie off at the cresh and went and did my first ever yoga class. I dont think I can actually put into words how free it made me feel. I finally felt like I don’t have to sit in my four walls of a house and actually get out there and do things! The sense of freedom for me is just….. Well I can’t actually find the rite word but…. It’s good 🙂 
This morning I went to a Pilates class for an hour and I still have not felt any anxiety. So if you are a mum that feels like you have been swallowed up and lost by putting your heart and soul into being a parent ( which there is nothing wrong with ) speak out about it too a friend or partner. I’m a terrible talker and keep things hidden inside but talking to My partner helped us come to the idea of joining the gym which has lead to me feeling so much better, and we never would have done it if I hadn’t of opened up. 

I have never done yoga or Pilates before but they are both all about breathing and moving every little muscle in your body and it is so relaxing and reviving all at the same time. But don’t be fooled it hurts! Well it hurt me anyway probably because I’m as stiff as a board! 

Maybe a gym isn’t rite for you but just know that finding even an hour a day to do something just for you can make you feel a whole lot better. 
The gym we have joined is a Virgin Active chain and I think only the larger ones have a cresh but here’s the link if any of you want to have a look if there’s one near you. 
Have a look if there’s anything you’d love to do!
Lots of love Grace XO

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